All posts tagged: love

Forgiving and forgiveness

We are in the twilight of the season of goodwill, the season where we reconnect. We are to be good and generous, we embrace family and friends, old and new, and spread good tidings and kindness. Everything is amplified in two weeks of love and understanding and supposed to be a peppermint flavour of perfect. But, thankfully, life is not perfect and with reconnection comes memories, good and bad. We realise that some wounds have healed, some are nicked open, and forgiving, and forgiveness, can be a huge challenge during this period. A mince pie and gulp of mulled wine do not always help the spiky swallow of anger or pain in the name of Christmas. What is forgiveness? You wrong me, I wrong you. Whatever the response to either of these is where forgiveness lies. Forgiveness is hope. And about how much you care about the person, and they for you. The absolute key is the acknowledgment of the hurt. Then to apologise and to try to learn from it, and behave better. The …

Soulmates

I was 16 and sitting in my art class. The boy I was madly in love with, in the way your 16 year old giddy heart can only love, leaned across the table and asked ‘So do you actually believe in “The One” Caitríona?’ I was delirious. My pupils dilated, I felt faint, churning sick, beautiful and achingly aware of my Hammerite braces. I wanted to run or else make a Bronte leap into his arms. This was it, he feels it, and he knows he is north-west Donegal’s Burton to my Taylor. He wants to take my hand as we step into my lobster-like vision of us sailing through a cotton cream life where we end up in the kind of home where our kids roll their eyes every time we dance around our grey-haired cosy kitchen to ‘Memories are made of this.’ And we laugh and remember when our joints didn’t hurt as much or when we made love like insatiable, insane creatures or wished we had started saving for our pensions earlier. …

In praise of kindness

I am always heartened by the kindness that occurs every day if you look for it. Despite the ugly and horrific things we read and see, it is happening all around us. Is it the person who puts their change in the charity box at the till? Is it the person who cancels their plans to be with a friend who is having a rough time? Is it the parent who donates their bone marrow to their sick child? Is it the person who brings you a coffee because you are tired, or sad, or just because it’s Saturday? Is it the locals who rally round a family when they have lost someone they love? It is all of these things. It is one of the single most rewarding and healing connections we can make, or have, with another person. Being kind is being vulnerable, it is forgiveness, sacrifice, selflessness and rewarding. And there can never be enough of it. People will always respond to kindness because if you are treated kindly you are instantly …

A kiss is just a kiss?

Cher told us that it’s in his kiss and she’s right. Relationships can begin and end with a kiss, and it can be the absolute clincher in the barometer of pursuing a romance. There are the good, the bad, the froggy, the adverts for washing machines and the downright wonderful on the scale of kissing glory, and they all mean something. Are we all born good or bad kissers? Can you improve? Why does it work with one person and go so badly wrong with the other person? Perhaps it’s all just a little luck and a lot of chemistry.   Here are some of the most important kisses I think you can have……… The knee buckler I was 30 before I experienced what this truly was. All the spotlights on the stage for that particular kiss placed their passionate fix on us on a cold evening in Dublin city. Our worlds collided like romantically dysfunctioning bumping cars, knowing and unknowing what might lie ahead. It was as if he was put on earth for …

A few things I wish I knew about boys when I was 16 (and 22……and 29)

1. It’s ok to be YOU You are you, in all your glorious good, bad and ugly. And it’s not only ok to be you, it’s bloody wonderful. The person you’re with should adore and cherish you for all your quirks and habits, madness and loveliness. The kind of person you want to be with will want to be with all of you. And that’s the kind of person who deserves you. 2. If they make you feel bad about your body/face/feet/humour/nose/teeth FORGET them Your partner should make you feel good about yourself. If he’s pointing out flaws that damage your self-esteem, do yourself a favour and say goodbye. 3. Take your own time It’s ok to wait six days, six weeks or six months to be a girlfriend, to have sex, to hold hands, to say yes or say no. You can be Dawson and Joey, or pawing at each other like wild animals, just as long as you feel happy and comfortable with the pace, forget everyone and everything else. 4. If you …